Decision Makers' Corner

Getting older is unavoidable, but is it possible to avoid the symptoms of aging? Can our choices about what we think and feel—and how we live—propel us into a long and healthy life? It seems there’s more to the question of aging gracefully than just the new fad diet or designer supplement.

Recently, I had the good fortune to interview Dr. John Kalb, a holistic chiropractor and world-class nutritionist, on my Pathways radio show (podcast on Divination.com). Dr. Kalb reminds us that “Aging is required, but symptoms are optional,” and that aside from good nutrition and reasonable exercise, we need purpose and inspiration to live a fulfilling and truly healthy life.

Like myself, Dr. Kalb is a spiritual person who has been known to use the I Ching to help him stay spiritually synchronized, be more creative and make better decisions. You should hear what he has to say about the spiritual dimension of health, as well as the true place of supplements, the “Happiness Project” and the wisdom of the elders. Thank you, Dr. Kalb!



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In my last blog, I pointed to testosterone as being half of the reason for male horndoggedness, the other half being emotional in nature. Some women had trouble accepting the vast testosterone differential, and the part this hormone plays in desire for both genders, but a massive difference between the sexes is established scientific fact that has been studied and proven extensively (though men's testosterone levels have been going down over the last 40 years). This next part of my thesis is more experimental and almost completely overlooked.

I submit that a big part of the reason males are so interested in physical intimacy is their need for emotional intimacy. A little background: in patriarchal societies around the world, boys are pushed off their mother's lap around age 4 or 5 and quickly trained to become "little men." If dad isn't around -- which has generally been the case in post-industrial societies -- the boys quickly fixate on fantasy or sport heroes as a way to develop some sense of identity (however shaky that might be). Now Mom's not even around in an increasing numbers of cases.

What this scenario essentially means is that, even though they are



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For thousands of years, human beings have used divination systems such as astrology and tarot to inquire about relationship and compatibility issues.  But an intuitive approach cannot resolve such problems all by itself. While we often try to attribute our passions to a conscious decision of the mind, our desires are also driven by biological and emotional drives that we are only now beginning to understand. It behooves us to also use logic and consider what we are learning from biology and psychology.

In another blog, I mentioned that men need women not only for sex, but also for emotional nourishment. Several women responded that women want sex too. Yes, of course, most do, but just not as insistently as men. Even though women may have an even greater capacity for sexual fulfillment than men, the average woman's desire is not nearly so insistent as the average male's.

It's a biological fact that the hormone testosterone plays a major role in sexual interest -- for both sexes. The avg healthy male has 20 to 30 times the testosterone of the avg healthy female ... actually, it ranges from 10x to 100x. Women have much, much less, and their level fluctuates wit



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As I often do, I have been pondering general questions, such as the changing dynamics of intimate  relationships (specifically hetero, my orientation). Ever willing to ask dumb questions, I wonder: What, if anything, do modern women feel they need men for at this point?

Generally speaking, men have tended to look to a mate to satisfy sexual and emotional needs. In general, women have less urgency in getting these particular needs met from men than the other way around (of course, women need and want these things also, but they don't have as much testosterone/craving for sex and can get a lot of their emotional nourishment from girlfriends, while men are often poverty-conscious in both departments, even if they deny it).  Historically, women's selection priorities had been more about a male partner's ability to physically provide for and protect her and their children.

Generally, men's needs have not changed, and men seem just as dependent upon women for sex and emotional nourishment as ever. But these days women don't have as much need for protection and provision and, in many cases, no need at all. (And now we have sperm banks!)

Around 1980, there was a bumper s





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Mars Hill, near the Parthenon, Athens, Greece.

The other day, during my first visit here, I took a tour of the Acropolis, the hill on which the monumental Parthenon, symbol of the glory of Greece, still stands, huge and magnificent. Close by is the much smaller hill of the god Aries -- a mound of solid marble with beautifully carved steps leading up to its flat top.

There, civic leaders of democratic Athens would meet to take evidence and hammer out decisions . . . or to conduct selected trials -- including all murder trials, which were required to be held outdoors, because the Greeks feared contagion from extreme evildoers if they were enclosed with them.

Paul of Tarsus, the prime stimulus of Christian orthodoxy as we still know it, asked for a Mars Hill meeting with the democrats of Athens to present his case for a new God, one who had incarnated in human form. Now, this Paul was a crafty zealot . . . he had noticed that the Greeks had one statue dedicated to "the unknown god" -- kind of like the "tomb of the unknown soldier" -- because, in their liberal way, the Greeks were willing to consider there might be some god(s) they didn't know about yet. Paul saw an opportunit





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My recent guest on my Pathways interview show, Michael Beck, is an executive coach who, among other things, helps entrepreneurs and people in general achieve what they want. He thinks we humans are all actually excellent manifestors … much better than we know … in fact, we are successfully manifesting all the time! That’s how good we are — the only problem is that we are generally manifesting things that we DON’T want!

The problem with manifestation techniques like “The Secret” is the illusion that all we need to do is visualize and exercise our wishful thinking a little harder. Well, yes, it certainly does help to focus on our target rather than all the things that can go wrong, but increasing our feeling of attraction is not going to change our general thinking habits which are probably — in our corrupted society — all too much about things that we fear.

So … we are excellent manifestors! In fact, we are doing it constantly and effortlessly. As we dwell (sometimes obsessively) on anxious or worried thoughts, our subconscious makes sure things actually don’t turn out so well as they could. We make bad decisions, alongside our faithful vis



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Recently, I interviewed Geneen Roth, author of the new book Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Money and Food (podcast on Divination.com). Hers  is the moving story of how, after decades of struggling with (and overcoming) eating disorders, she discovered that the same dynamics were also present in her unconscious relationship with money, and causing her as much psychological pain.

In Ms. Roth's case, the trigger event that led her to realize her dynamics around money was losing her family's entire life savings of 30 years to the swindler, Bernie Madoff -- a fascinating wake-up call of a tale in itself. The book swings between her true story and the profound learnings that came out of it -- lessons that actually apply to most of us.

People deal with money the way they deal with food, she says. Diet and binge translates to scrimp and splurge. No matter how much is available, we feel and act as if there is never enough and we worry about running out. Financial advisors report that even the very rich want to have twice o



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On March 11 a devastating earthquake hit Japan, generating a tidal wave that wiped out a huge swath of Japan and caused damage as far away as Oregon and California, hitting Hawaii on the way. In Maui, the wave was expected to arrive at 3:30 in the morning. I was staying in a high-rise condo in Kihei, which is right on a fairly sheltered beach, with my son and baby grandson who had already gone to bed.

The first warning came in an email that evening from a friend who lives uphill in Maui, at which point I turned on TV to see non-stop coverage, which primarily kept repeating videos of extreme destruction in Japan. Every half hour or so, the reporter would almost reluctantly switch out to a scientist who explained that, because of the way the earth's crust had shifted in this quake, the big tidal wave would be the one moving west into nearby Japan. The one moving east, on the other hand -- going over 3000 miles of ocean before reaching Hawaii -- was only expected to produce a surge of 3-5 feet above normal.

This scientific prediction was easy to miss on TV, because it was given hardly any air time and absolutely NO emphasis. Also, when they mentione



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In personal growth trainings, it is said "What you expect is what you get" -- an idea that jibes with my teachings on the power of beliefs (and why we should consciously choose our own). In other words -- if you expect to fail, get ready to fall! If you expect to succeed, your 'luck' will greatly improve. If you are afraid a dog is going to bite you, the odds of that happening have just gone way up!

Buddha said, "as you think, so you become." The bible says, "as you think in your heart, so ye shall be." John Lennon sang "Instant karma's gonna get you!"

Despite the song, karma is not always "instant" -- in fact, it is rarely so. But one case where karma is instant is fearful thinking. The moment our minds dwells on fear thoughts -- anxiety, paranoia, etc. -- karma instantly manifests in how our bodies react with adrenaline, exaggerated black-and-white thinking, and a fight or flight response. And this all happens right away, whether or not the threat is real. Furthermore, such thinking, when sustained, actually fosters the development of new, more threatening conditions (like that dog who picks up on th



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Recently, I interviewed Sherry Turkle, author of the new book Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other for my Pathways radio show/podcast. In it, the eminent social psychologist explores the boundaries between intimacy and solitude, and shows how social media can have a corrosive effect on both.

The book contains two intertwined stories -- the effects of social networking on our lives now and the "sociable robots" of tomorrow -- the "nannybots" and "eldercarebots" who will presumably be taking care of us tomorrow (until they pull the plug? :-).

In the meantime, our digital age is spawning a false intimacy at the expense of real intimacy with the help of social networking ("the commodification of friendship?"). As Ms. Turkle points out, claiming many fake friends is no substitute for having close contact with a few real ones. While the frantic activity to keep up with a maximum number of so-called friends consumes our personal time, we are left feeling strangely lonely and unfulfilled.

Now, there are indeed great uses for social networ





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